This last weekend Grant and I had the opportunity to go to the Choose Joy conference in Laguna Hills. It was AMAZING. To walk into a place of such support and love from people with stories similar to ours was just what I needed. There were men and women there that had been through the adoption process, were in the midst of the process, or were just considering it. It was great to be surrounded by so many who knew what we were feeling and could offer up advice or just a great listening ear. I talked with many, heard tons of stories, and was able to share about our adventure. I'm already looking forward for the conference next year!
So as far as where we are in the process, we had our final meeting and we are officially 'active' which means our profile can now be shown to expectant mothers. I am excited, anxious, and a little disheartened. I was disheartened to hear that we aren't told that we are basically in the dark during this next step. We just have to wait. We aren't told when our profile is shown or even how many times they've shown it. I guess it is to protect our hearts and to not get our hopes up, but for me, being in the dark feels so much worse. I know I just have to wait and rely on God's strength through this next step. In one session at the conference , titled "Waiting Well", one thing stuck out to me. The speaker said, "Waiting is the process God uses to mold us into the person we are meant to be." She said that waiting is never easy because we don't know how long that waiting will take and we don't know what person we are meant to be or what needs to change but hearing this sentence gave me a little peace. I don't want to rush and not be who God wants me to be. I have to wait. God has plans for me and plans for Grant and plans for our future child. Why would I try to disrupt those plans? I know it won't be easy and I know I'll need the support of my friends and family.
So while we wait we choose joy.
"For I consider that the sufferings of this present time are not worth comparing with the glory that is to be revealed to us"